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!! OMG, FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK! The host of THE APPRENTICE, Donald Trump, has taken control of The United States Of America !!

…and I couldn’t even bring myself to press play on this acceptance speech, because to be quite honest, I couldn’t really give two shits about the vile garbage that spews out of this bloated Oompa Loompa’s mouth – but I guess we’re gonna have to begin to, because it’s about to start affecting the entire planet!

If you’re just joining us from your slumber, and you feel like you’ve woken up into an alternate, nightmarish reality – you’re not alone! Get ready to roll back a whole lotta progress Ammurrica! If you didn’t go out and vote, or you voted for Trump and you are LGBTQ or an immigrant to America – hopefully you won’t mind when he takes back your own civil rights, cuts funding for HIV research and support, places it elsewhere (Mike Pence supports gay conversion therapy), denies your sister the right to make decisions for her own body, and deports your loved ones! And if you have it in your head that Mexicans and Muslims are the only minorities Trump’s capable of discriminating against, and you think you don’t need to be concerned or that it doesn’t apply to you, then I challenge you to consider who might be next in line on that list. Just sayin’!

Maybe you just ate something you shouldn’t have, or you drank too much last night trying to drown your sads and it’s only 9am but you’re trying to make yourself puke before work – then check out big D‘s acceptance speech above! I promise it’ll work wonders. (Oh, and is it just us, or does he look a bit worried?)

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!! OMG, call your Squirrel Friends and make sure to VOTE, OKURRRRRRR !!

COME THRU, AUNT JEMIMA HANDBAG!! Sam Pancake and Justin Martindale are back with a new “Squirrel Friends” video about VOTING and this time they’re joined by Darryl Stephens, Nico Santos and Tom Lenk! “She is giving me executive Talbots realness!” Check out their message above, OKURRRRR!

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!! OMG, quote of the day: Hillary Clinton admits Kate McKinnon’s SNL impression of her makes her second guess herself !!

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“Her really dramatic impersonation of me does make me think, ‘Oh my gosh, did I roll my eyes? Lift my eyebrows?.’ My laugh, which has been noted since I was a little girl—’hearty’ is the way it’s often described—I see the exaggerated version of it and I do sometimes think, ‘Well, maybe I should just sort of back off from that.’ But then I forget and go on and just be what I’ve always been.”

– Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton on Kate McKinnon‘s SNL impression of her.

I wonder what she’d think of La Pequena‘s impression of her…

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!! OMG, Britney talks charity work, chatting with Hilary about Jambalaya, and her recent wardrobe malfunction !!

Try not get too distracted by the amount of lip gloss Mario Lopez is wearing (more than Britney), and focus on Brit Brit talkin about her charity work, Hilary Clinton, her wardrobe malfunction, and Halloween with her keeeds, above!

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