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!! OMG, the gays at Lifetime are working overtime! Network will air ‘The Brittany Murphy Story’ TV-biopic in September !!

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Lifetime, the planet’s utmost source for quality programming, has announced its plans to bless us with a two-hour television movie, The Brittany Murphy Story based on the deceased actress and 90’s icon’s life! I can’t wait to see who they cast as the “poor-man’s” Alicia Silverstone!

The movie will recount the story of Brittany Murphy’s younger years, including her mother’s efforts to turn her talented daughter into a star in the 1980s and ’90s, and then leads up to her death. It will also touch on the aftermath, when her mother dealt with claims that her daughter’s death was not accidental.

If I know the gays over at Lifetime the way I think I do, they’re gonna put their brains together and make sure to highlight some of Brittany’s most pivotal career moments when they recreate these iconic clips:


[via hollywoodreporter]

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!! OMG, grab your bong: Lifetime’s new ‘Unauthorized Saved By The Bell Story’ brings the high-DRAMA in new clip !!

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“The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story” is apparently Exec VP and G.M. Robert Sharenow‘s first attempt to ‘elevate and rebrand the network’s television movies and miniseries’. Ummmm, GURL WERRK! We feel elevated and rebranded(?!) already just by watching this!
You know when a film is trying to portray Elizabeth Berkley as the sane one, that this is gonna be GOOD! Remember the last time that happened? Check out the first clip below:

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!! OMG, gossip: Zandaya Coleman says she left the Lifetime Aaliyah biopic because ‘the production value wasn’t there’ !!

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Uh — Yuh, DUH! It’s a f*cking Lifetime movie [celebitchy]
OOOOOH, CHURL! The National Enquirer goes there again with Tom Cruise! [boy culture]
That’s right, sexy! Obama gets down to business and signs LGBTQ executive order [joemygod]
Beyonce and Jay-Z want to call it quits without getting a divorce [dlisted]
Mario Testino shoots ‘Model Mania’ for the upcoming issue of V Magazine [ohlala]
Kim Kardashian is set to make 85 million dollars off her 200 million dollar app which lets you create your very own imaginary social-climbing whore persona in Hollywood in the race to be famous for nothing [popbytes]
Big Brother‘s Zach Rance pops a woody after cuddling with Ariana Grande‘s brother [kenneth]
Ex-child star and current go-go boy Blake McIver is really trying to make Blake McIver happen [queerty]
Whoopsie-daises! Blohan has either got the drunks real bad, or is falling into a k-hole here [socialite life]
Pokemon shaming! [unrealitymag]
New documentary exposes extreme anti-gay laws in Iran: ‘They can put you in jail for 10, 20, 30 years.’ [towleroad]
The Top 10 MTV VMA moments [celeb cafe]

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!! OMG, ready, set, grab the bong: The first trailer for Lifetime’s “Lizzie Borden Took An Ax” movie starring Christina Ricci !!


It looks as if Lifetime has just blessed us with another fantastic trailer for their next venture into TV movieland: Lizzie Borden Took An Ax.
Those swoosh-y sound effects they’ve been using probably need an American ciggy by now, as they’ve been used and abused in every Lifetime trailer from here to House Of Versace! The film stars Christina Ricci (WHY, CHRISTINA!?) and is set for a January 25th release date. Will you be watching? Can Wednesday Adams save this MOW? Can pot brownies?

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!! OMG, how much wood can a woodchuck chuck?: Lifetime’s “Lizzie Borden Took An Ax” Movie starring Christina Ricci !!

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…and while we’re on the topic marriage and axe murderers: Marriage must be doing squishy love things to Christina Ricci‘s brain, because for an accomplished actress like herself to be diving into a Lifetime movie does just not make sense! From Monster to THIS! I guess it still is a recession. We all gotta get paid!
Anyhow, here is Lifetime‘s official description for it’s new unintentional-comedy:

“On a scorching, hot summer day in 1892 in Fall River, Massachusetts, Lizzie Borden (Ricci) returns home to the house she shares with her father Andrew, stepmother Abby and sister Emma (DuVall). But, unlike any normal day, Lizzie encounters the bloody scene of her parents violently murdered. Police quickly question multiple suspects in town, but evidence keeps pointing back to the Borden’s youngest daughter Lizzie, the seemingly wholesome Sunday school teacher, as the prime suspect. Lizzie’s lawyer, Andrew Jennings (Campbell), proclaims her innocence arguing that it is inconceivable a woman could commit the heinous crime of brutally murdering her family with an ax. Or is it? Lizzie is put on trial for the murders, both in the courtroom and in the press, sparking a widespread debate about her culpability. As the case rages on, the courtroom proceedings fuel an enormous amount of sensationalized stories and headlines in newspapers throughout the country, forever leaving Lizzie Borden’s name in infamy.”

Will you be watching Lizze Borden Took An Ax when it premieres on January 25th?

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