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!! OMG, thank GOD — finally! NYC approves apartment building with separate entrance for poor people !!

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NYC has finally approved an apartment building with a separate entrance for ‘poor people’. I thought this day would never come! Hopefully the divider walls aren’t made of glass and they’ll be forced to make eye-contact with their lessers! That would just be so groosss!

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!! OMG, your weekend starts here: The newest illegal drug on the block is BED BUGS y’all! !!


If you happen to live in New York City today — you’re in for a ride!
Yes, grab that glass pipe, walk outside in your fair city streets, plop yourself onto one of those big comfy mattresses on the sidewalk, and get ready to have your MIND BLOWN, because the newest street drug readily available for free to you is BED BUGS! Don’t all get up at once now! I know you’ve all been looking for an excuse to bring them into your lives, so here’s your reason. And soon enough, you’ll be hooked!
Just look at Shane Watson (above) who says smoking bed bugs made him feel like he was “walking through wet concrete” (sounds like something a total bed bug junkie with no brain cells left who’s jonesing for bed bugs might say), and says that “it’s a reality. And it IS a problem.”.
Apparently people come down hard off smoking these little critters, so if you plan on picking up that couch on the corner later and making a big weekend of it, make sure to rent some of this for some Sunday morning-after watching, and hopefully you’ll still be able to count down to 1:

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!! OMG, the spawn of Satan: ‘Devil Baby’ terrorizes NYC, hilarity ensues! !!

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Devil’s Due is set to hit theatres this Friday, and to promote the film, production planned this public humiliation-style viral video involving a possessed baby that could only have be raised by Octomom and seemingly babysat in the evenings during her shifts at the stripclub by Kate Gosselin. Parenting at it’s best! Check out the baby terrorizing NYC below!

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!! OMG, bro, bro, bro, Merry Christmas: Santa Claus gang fight breaks out in NYC !!


Whether it’s Halloween or Christmas (or St. Patrick’s Day), donning a costume really gives the drunken douchebags permission to act like fools out in the streets. (I know, kettle-black…)
Check out this Santa Claus street fight that went down in NYC’s Union Square this week during SantaCon. I’m not sure how Mrs. Claus or the children would feel about the type of language…

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