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!! OMG, gossip: Here’ Sports Illustrated’s FIRST Plus Size model ever !!

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… and she’s not very plus at all [dlisted]
Marnie‘s dad is in hot water y’all! Not for letting his daughter get her ass eaten out on TV however, but for lying about war stuff multiple times live during his NBC broadcast [celebitchy]
…and this Brian Williams New York Post cover is truly everything [kenneth]
I’m not hating Madonna‘s new video and song, which is a new sensation for me, but Jezebel doesn’t feel the same way [boy culture]
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: Ellen and Justin Bieber terrify unsuspecting people from inside of a bathroom stall [towleroad]
Linda Harvey: “Katy Perry loves SATAN!” [joemygod]
Jamie Dornan serves up some bearded hotness [socialite life]
Album review: Fifth Harmony drop Reflection [popbytes]
WATCH: Funny Or Die’s 70’s gay THE HANDKERCHIEF CODE [queerty]
Four horrible CGI effects that movies need to stop using [unrealitymag]
Model Parker Gregory (that name is so Dynasty) gets his butt out for an Out Mag shoot by Mariano Vivanco (NSFW) [ohlala]
Top 10 things you may not know about Sam Smith [celeb cafe]

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!! OMG, Mom complains after dollar store fairy wand is found to contain a secret demonic bonus image !!

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Dayton, Ohio, mother Nicole Allen lost her shit this week when she discovered that a magical fairy wand she had bought for her daughter — one that looked like an innocent toy — was actually birthed from the bowels of Hell.

After giving the toy to her sweet two-year-old daughter, the young girl promptly peeled off its foil cover, revealing a vivid image of a big-eyed, bloody-toothed demon lady slitting her wrist.

Though, there WAS one detail Nicole missed — and that is that the package was called “The Evil Stick” — but also contained the message “I can send out wonderful music!” which was written on a snowflake…
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The dollar store owner (who has a lot of GALL) says he’ll remove the wand if he gets MORE complaints, and that kids see this stuff on TV everyday. Love him. Money is his priority, and shamelessly down to the DOLLAR. He’s sort of right in the sense that the stores are already stocked with Satanic undertones with toys like Dora… or Bratz…
[via gawker]

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!! OMG, Lifetime inks yet another deal with Satan, is set to release a Christmas movie starring Grumpy Cat !!

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Lifetime keeps testing the limits of f*ckery and their viewers by seeing just what kind of level of crap they’ll accept as somehow watchable. The answer (SPOILER ALERT) is we’ll watch any old piece of shit just as long as it has Lifetime‘s gorgeous stamp (skid mark?) on it.
Just when you thought that the network’s spot-on “biopic” of Brittany Murphy‘s life, OR Lindsay Lohan as Liz Taylor, OR maybe Gina Gershon doing bumps on the dancefloor in a blonde wig as a drugged-out Donatella Versace was their “bottom of the barrell” moment — Lifetime has decided to make yet another deal with Satan and will release an upcoming Grumpy Cat movie starring the internet’s favourite meme titled “Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever”. I think they may have forgotten the word ‘Movie’ someplace in that title…
Aubrey Plaza from Parks and Rec has been chosen as the one they will sacrifice to the Ruler Of Darkness to spew out Grumpy Cat‘s zingers in exchange for eternal life — some of which you can catch in the trailer below. The movie will premiere 29 November 2014 on Lifetime.

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!! OMG, world news: Gaga made her dog Asia wear a pink bathrobe !!

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Countdown to PETA shit fit in 3,2,1… [celebitchy]
A lawyer for several of the babes involved in The Fappening are suing Google for $100 million (pennies for Google, basically) [dlisted]
We’re gonna need more frappuccino: Brit Brit extends her Las Vegas residency [popbytes]
Matt Bomer and Joe Manginahello on the set of the new Magic Mike XXL [socialite life]
Picture this: The Blondie photo exhibit at the Chelsea hotel has been held over until Oct. 6th [kenneth]
Christian site: Satan is celebrating the LGBT characters on network television y’all! (That would explain Looking) [joemygod]
Gay twins do follow-up Q&A with parents after coming out to them on camera [towleroad]
Low-rent gay adult film star Luka Magnotta stands trial, admits he murdered and chopped up his boyfriend [queerty]
Dude in Monty Python Black Knight cosplay has the best sense of humour ever [unrealitymag]
The music-less music video channel! [boy culture]
L’Official Hommes Singapore’s Fall Issure has arrived and is chalked with wet models looking pained [ohlala]
The Top 10 guest voices that have appeared on The Simpsons [celeb cafe]

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