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!! OMG, always low prices: Meth Lab discovered in Wal-Mart bathroom !!

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It’s about time Wal-Mart expanded their market out into the METH industry! I mean, judging my the way their customers pick their outfits in the morning, there should be quite the market for it!
A meth lab was discovered in an Indiana Walmart last week and surprisingly, finding meth labs in Wal-Marts is really common. There have been SEVERAL discovered within the past five years in different stores across the country!

In 2011 two people were arrested on separate occasions trying to cook meth in the same Tulsa, Oklahoma, Walmart. Fox 23 reported that a man was caught there in October “with a backpack containing what police called an active meth lab.” Two months later, per Fox 23, police intervened to stop a woman who was trying to cook meth in the store because she couldn’t afford to buy the ingredients and take them home. She was in the store for six hours before getting arrested.
In August of 2011, Nashville City Paper reported that two men were sentenced for trying to cook meth in the back of a pickup truck in the parking lot of an Antioch, Tennessee, Walmart. The meth ingredients in the bed of the pickup truck exploded, drawing police attention to the crime scene.

Cute! I think they’ve really found their niche!
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[via slate]

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!! OMG, rollback with Mister Smileyface! Family buys and eats steak from WAL-MART that’s seasoned with LSD !!

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I’ve always just assumed that LSD stands for LARGE STEAK DINNER, but I was appalled to hear that a family of four were confused and UPSET (!?) when they gobbled up a steak dinner from Wal-Mart and got a free ride with a side of some California Sunshine and started tripping their balls off.
I mean, thankfully everyone is fine and stuff, BUT… like, also… someone got a steak dinner out of it AND a freebee, — that’s more than I’ve got! Wal-Mart had this to say about the incident:
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Pretty sure this just solves the ‘People Of Wal-Martphenomenon. They definitely have been seeing shit that we haven’t — and for a very long time! Wal-Mart’s logo was a giant yellow SMILEYFACE for Godsakes! How could we have been so blind!?

[image via verbicide]

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