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!! OMG, Breaking! Jay Leno screws Conan yet again! !!

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OMG get me Helen Kushnick on the phone! Jay Leno, America’s biggest hack, is getting his 11:30 show back, reports TMZ!! (How come no one ever calls ME with these scoops?)
What happens to Conan remains to be seen, but it can’t be good. Whatever Mr. O’Brien’s fate, I think this proves beyond a shadow of a doubt (if it wasn’t proven years ago!) that Jay Leno is the dirtiest asshole in a dirty asshole business. (I won’t belabor the point by mentioning how unfunny Jay is, because, you know, duh.)
The silver lining here is that this means we’ll be getting actual television at 10pm again– that is, if NBC can prevail upon itself to produce anything that’s actually worth watching.

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!! OMG, They’re “Famous”: The Cast of Celebrity Apprentice 3 !!

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The cast of Celebrity Apprentice 3 was announced today, and like last time, it has a bona fide celebrity-to-me and gay icon in the person of Ms. Cyndi Lauper! There are also a few other semi-famous people and reality TV veterans on it in addition to the usual wrestlers, sluts, and mixed-martial losers filling out the cast. My main complaint: WHERE’S OMAROSA???!
The cast, from left to right, is “real Elaine” Carol Leifer, Sinbad, lady wrestler Maria Kanellis, bribey former governor Rod Blagojevich, Sharon Osbourne (oh, that old thing?), Olympics person Michael Johnson, Trumpy (duh), chef Curtis Stone, the glorious Ms. Lauper, another wrestler (who cares!?), a baseball player I have heard of named Darryl Strawberry, the bewigged Brett Michaels, undie model Selita Ebanks (for Trump’s pleasure, of course), swimmer Summer Sanders, and Hangin’ With Mr. Cooper’s Holly Robinson Peete, who went to the same college as me and Frank, so yay?
Excited now?
(EW Popwatch)

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!! OMG, How Nostalgic: 90’s Theme Song Quiz !!

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Those of you looking for a complete waste of time today should go ahead and take this kinda slapdash 90’s sitcom theme song quiz. I got 28 out of 32 correct, which should basically tell you what terrible parents I had.
(On a semi-related note, I recently read Jodi Sweetin’s cleverly-titled autobiography, UnSweetined, and it was extremely depressing!)

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!! OMG, What a Quitter: Tyra Banks !!


Tyra Mail, everybody: The Lady Banks is QUITTING her talk show! But now how will we know what it’s like to be fat? How will know what it’s like to be homeless?
Considering Tyra Banks’s well-known feelings about quitters (above!) I would normally call her a hypocrite. But of course that’s impossible– because everyone knows that Ms. Tyra is perfect in every way.
(People)

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