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!! OMG, CHICK C'EST CHIC : hen 'saddles' !!
OK, so apparently ^ THIS ^ is a thing now.
In THIS video, you can discover how it is you dress your chicken:
"So to put a diaper on a chicken [I honestly cannot even believe this]...you wanna keep her fresh [OK, fresh, got it]....cover her poophole [this makes my poophole invert]...blah blah blah so you don't hurt her"
...HURT HER?!
What do you think this dumpy BATIK-C'EST-CHIC is gonna do to her street-cred? I think if the other chickens see she has that on they will beat the chicken crap out of her 'poophole'; first off for having to wear a diaper because she keeps shatting herself and secondly,,,because she's wearing a frigging batik diaper bib dress dungarees apron thingy. Cluck cluck honey, cluck cluck !
[via oddity]
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posted by Duncan Alexander on Monday, June 17, 2013
comments: 1 | category: Unfortunate
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!! OMG, HAIRY & THE HENDERSONS: Breach's 'Jack' !!
Honestly, if I don't get a trim down there once a week I get all Maison Margiela hairy couture creature, so I can totally relate to the hair horrors in this video.
Featuring some seriously silky pubic facial wigs and an EBONY & IVORY 'Harry and the Hendersons' HIS & HERS' dance-off, this is Breach's video for 'Jack' which is the last thing I want to do after viewing this...in fact it should be called 'Get Electrolysis', as in;
"I want your body, everybody wants your body so let's GET ELECTROLYSIS!"
Seriously, book an appointment now Hairy Mary, I'm getting pubes between my teeth just watching you 'jack'!
[via discobelle]
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posted by Duncan Alexander on Monday, June 17, 2013
comments: 0 | category: Musical
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!! OMG, handkerchief to mop up your grief: Suicideyear's 'Everytime' remake !!
Because even Jamie Lynn's big sis Britney has a wee sob sometimes, ain't no shame...hell, I get a cry-snot-bubble form in my left nostril every time I watch her video for 'Everytime'...literally every time !
So I got super excited when I heard Suicideyear's crunked-down version that I went and got those ANAL TEARS ROLLING DOWN MY THIGHS at how beautiful and Enya-esque it was sounding.
Hey Brits, time to dry those thighs, want a handkerchief to mop up your grief?!
[via dummy]
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posted by Duncan Alexander on Monday, June 10, 2013
comments: 0 | category: Musical
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!! OMG, wave wrinkles goodbye: the 'Facewaver' exercise mask !!
This young lady looks ever-so-slightly shocked and surprised, I feel awful for her that she has to wear that unsightly head-sleeve until which time her face heals from that atrocious house-fire she was trapped in...what do you mean this isn't the burns ward it's the nurses staff room?
Let me re-phrase that; this silly lady has nothing wrong with her other than the fact that she is wearing what looks somewhat like Nicolas Cage's Face/Off FACIAL FLAP, the "ribbed for her pleasure" version with easy-release Velcro pads which she heard make your wrinkles simply fly away from you; literally, your wrinkles grow tiny-weeny limbs and scamper off!...OR NOT, which is probably the reason why she looks so blooming shocked and surprised, as she's a nurse and should know better than to spend $60 on what is essentially an OVERSIZED MARIGOLD DISH-WASHING RUBBER GLOVE!
[via oddity]
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posted by Duncan Alexander on Friday, June 7, 2013
comments: 2 | category: Unfortunate
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!! OMG, New Yorkshire Terriors: HSNY's doggie portfolio !!
Check out Elmer here, he has a hollowed-out plaster cast carrot-colour-combo dildo for a leg, want to adopt him? Personally I'm looking simply to adopt his look...on me.
New York's Humane Society obviously has a faggle-rocker on doggie-styling duties because these fellas are adorned with all sorts of kinds of neck a-cute-trements.
There were some shots taken of some woof looking dogs also in need of homes and with normal bare necks but that's just not as fun or cute as having dogs with air hostess side-tie cravats and CRICKET PLEASANTRY BOW TIES, and you are NOT going to get adopted without the perfect spring-summer upper-spinal embellishment.
Follow the jump to see more of Richard Phibbs' puppy portfolio.
[[OMG there's more! JUMP IN and read the rest]]
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posted by Duncan Alexander on Wednesday, June 5, 2013
comments: 0 | category: Cute
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!! OMG, this owl is totes MOPTURNAL: Lightning and Mr Mopy are BFFs !!
Erm excuse me [?] that's totally a dirty skanky mop there buddy, no offense but really, that ragedy old flopper, really?!
I love that this hand reared fella is called Lightning because he is NOT the quickest owl in the tree. Lightning befriended this mop-head at 'Screech Owl Sanctuary' in Newquay, Cornwall and as soon as Mr Mopy comes out Lightning pops his fluffy ass on top and rides around the floor humping and cleaning and nibbling Mopy's natty bleached hair.
"As soon as our workers begin to mop the floor, he is out of his cage helping. He absolutely adores that mop. He's got lots of cuddly toys, but that is his preferred plaything." __sanctuary owner Carolyn Screech
This owl is TOTES MOPTURNAL !
[via metro]
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posted by Duncan Alexander on Thursday, May 30, 2013
comments: 1 | category: Cute
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!! OMG, match making: Nancy & Donald's lawfully wedded wardrobe !!
Gay couples run the risk of starting to become a little Genesis P. Orridge after being together for a while, they start dressing the same, their hair starts looking the same and in no time your matching camo-shorts, tiny dogs and baseball caps make you look more like brothers-from-other-mothers than boyfriends and that's some sort of stay at home shit, because hon, that Peters Twins thing is a whole other closet case!
Nancy and Donald -plastic garden flamingo inventor- Featherstone, however, just blooming went for it, they didn't even progress, they just flipping went there. They've been wearing matchy matchy homemade shirts and dresses for 35 years now and have four wardrobes of matching outfits organised by season and occasion.
"We once saw Dr Ruth, the TV psychiatrist, in a department store. She was making her way over to us - probably to comment on our matching coats and hats - but we eluded her. It's one thing to get negative comments from strangers but quite another to have unwanted psychological suggestions."
Follow the jump to see some flavourite [along with their permed poochie pal] paralleled print pairings...well isn't that just the cutestest thing what ever did done?
[[OMG there's more! JUMP IN and read the rest]]
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posted by Duncan Alexander on Tuesday, May 28, 2013
comments: 0 | category: Fashionistic
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!! OMG, Korean is believan: Ji Yeo's 'The Beauty' !!
You may or may not have seen the recent article going around about a former model in South Korea who -when refused further facial procedures by her doctors- took to injecting what was essentially cooking oil into her face, which resulted in the most unfortunate BLUMPKIN PUMPKIN Halloween hot mess you ever did see!
According to visual artist Ji Yeo's website; in 2010 South Korea was the country with the world's highest per capita rate of cosmetic plastic surgery.
You can see Yeo's NSFW photographs -subtitled 'Beauty Recovery Room'- after the jump, which were taken in attempt to highlight the unnecessary risk of multiple generally-anesthetised cosmetic procedures which have become the norm for women in South Korean society.
Ji Yeo also partook in a performance where she appeared in public in nude-tone undergarments with a sign that read:
"I want to be perfect. Draw on me. Where should I get plastic surgery?"
My suggestion [?]...she should get her head removed and give it to that poor Mrs Pumpkin headed lady.
[[OMG there's more! JUMP IN and read the rest]]
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posted by Duncan Alexander on Friday, May 24, 2013
comments: 3 | category: Artumnal
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!! OMG, visiting hours are so over!: Visit Furry Creek !!
As you all know 'The Face of Furry Creek' is due to air on OUT.TV Canada from June 3rd.
"People say our beautiful precinct is serene"...SERENE? that drop-shoulder top that Liz is wearing is anything BUT serene; all tones of serene-less salmon peach melba tangerine floral failure!
Looking like the weatherman who got fired and that Prozac-munching lady who used to do Breakfast TV until she was caught snorting Lucky Charms cereal hoops, newscasters Mario and Brenda are giving us all kinds of small town reportage from the muggy depths of the Furry Creek.
There is only one question I have on my greasy flaky sock-puppet lips; who will be THE FACE OF FURRY CREEK?...that and also, can I buy that backing tune on Itunes because that ludicrous synthesized horn-blast and xylophone combo is totally giving me the crump-cramps, I just can't stop twerking to it now!
Visit Furry Creek HERE and stay tuned for further tit-bits and squiggly-pops from the various Faeces of Furry Crack over the next few weeks.
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posted by Duncan Alexander on Friday, May 24, 2013
comments: 0 | category: Funny
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!! OMG, it's Tan Mom....bitch!: Tanning Mom's 'It's Tan Mom!' !!
Looking like she may have been squirting the SPF60 up her crusty brown nose, Tan Mom forgot to learn the words but shut up whatever, so she'll just mash her CORN KERNEL TEETHYPOOPS till it's all over and then shush 'cos she's a mom or whatever!
Is she the sun's mom or something, like she's come down to earth to promote, as she puts it "seeing her goodies brown" [I was just sick through my nose]?!
"Hotter than Octomom", yeah hun, only cos you pushed a sunshine out of your BACON 'BITS'N'BITES' CRUSTY FLAPS; it takes a while to cool down from those kind of first-degree labour skabs!
[via jezebel]
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posted by Duncan Alexander on Tuesday, May 21, 2013
comments: 0 | category: Unfortunate
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