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!! OMG, If you’re sign is idiotic you might be a teabagger !!

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I know I know I know that making fun of teabaggers’ spelling, grammar and general education issues is totally missing the point of what is so wrong with these people. And I know I know I know I know that my smug, preening superiority about it just makes me another socialist fake-American poindexter fag.
After all, lots of people can’t spell and it doesn’t mean they don’t have perfectly valid opinions. I myself often have trouble with hyphenation, as I’m sure many OMG readers have noticed.
Despite all of these truths, I cannot stop LOLing at this gallery of woefully error-ridden protest signs from tea party rallies. The owner of the flickr has helpfully coined this protest sign pidgin Teabonics. Works for me!
[Teabonics]

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!! OMG, His little willy moves: Baby Pirulin Pee Pee !!


Who remembers Baby Wee-Wee, the British doll with a weird, giant, squirting penis? Well he’s back– with a new name and a more Eliza Doolittle-ish jingle!
Am I the only one who thinks the creepy dad in the commercial is secretly sort of hot? I’d let him tickle me till my willy moved!
Also can any of our British readers please tell me what a “Pirulin” is?
[Via Jezebel]

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!! OMG, Are you smart or stupid: Let Queerty be the judge !!

The phD homosexuals at Queerty have an informative personal essay today about what makes smartypants, grown-up gaybar convo and what makes you a worthless, know-nothing twink. Hint: the difference hinges on a little movie called The English Patient. They are just so cultured over there that I can hardly stand it! Here’s a short excerpt:

Last night I met up with a long-time friend (OK, he’s an ex-boyfriend) at one of our regular gay bar haunts. I didn’t know he would be bringing anyone with him, because we had not seen each other for about a month, and had some catching up to do. But in he walks with this spritely looking fellow, who was probably 20 or 21… So there we are, standing at the bar, leaning but avoiding actually sitting on the wet bar stools that nobody has the good sense to wipe down, and there is a lull in the conversation, as my friend has now gone to the bathroom for the second time (but does not have a coke habit, swear it), and forcing me and Mr. Spritely to make or avoid eye contact. So, while avoiding it, I bring up up that recent report about Count Laszlo de Almásy, the WWII spy who inspired the main protagonist in The English Patient, and how he was actually gay, enjoyed romances with Egyptian princes, and was in love with a young soldier named Hans Entholt, and Mr. Spritely looks at me, locking eye contact, and in the same motion that his tongue finds the straw to the drink he’s holding in his left hand, asks me, “Who?”

When my friend returns from the bathroom, I cut off the beginning of some wandering statement he is about to make and mention that I have a birthday party to get to, and I’m already running late, and need to pick up a bottle of wine en route, so please excuse me. And I left.

My, my, my! That’s a lot of words and not many periods at all. But look at me go on! Who do I think I am, the Chicago Manual of Style? I’m a highly naive (not to mention sprightly!) 29-year-old who knows almost nothing about The English Patient and wouldn’t know The Battle of the Bulge from the bulge in my pants– so pay no attention to my opinion!
Although the author of the piece chalks his bar-mate’s ignorance of a somewhat obscure bit of trivia up to youthful naivete, it seems to me that one of the hallmarks of adulthood is caring way less about this kind of petty effluvia. While 22-year-old me was always all, what, you don’t know the entire Matador Records catalog by heart?, almost-30-year old me is more like let’s f*ck. That’s called growing up. (I think?)
In other words, maybe Queerty’s not the paragon of worldly maturity it seems to think it is. But don’t listen to little old me– decide for yourself!
[Queerty]

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!! OMG, Survey Says: Ellen Degeneres hates America !!


She’s a lesbian! She has a talk show! She loves to dance!
Based on the above evidence, she must hate America, too! At least, that’s the conclusion to which you’d naturally jump if you’re an old white man. (I.e., a Real American.)
Can they all just die now, please?

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!! OMG, Who Knew: Sandy B. is the new Adolf H.? !!

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Confession: for a nominal gossip blogger, I’m not all that interested in celebrity gossip. There’s a reason that Frank does the gossip roundups! I have important work to do (watching cat videos and Telephone parodies all day) and can’t dirty my beautiful mind with this celebrity business.
The salaciousness of the Sandra Bullock/Jesse James scandal has only served to raise my threshold for caring about this shit. If there’s not a Nazi angle, I no longer want to hear about it at all. (Caveat: A homosexual angle obviously kind of works too but that’s about it.) The upshot of this is that if I was ever interested in Tiger Woods, I’m certainly not anymore; get back to me when it’s revealed that either Tiger or Elin is a Nazi and I’ll consider reconsidering.
The definitive Sandra-Jesse-Nazi coverage is of course to be found at DListed, where Michael K is doing such brilliant work that I’m not even bothering to compete. However, the staunch women of Jezebel have recently gotten into the game with a real scoop, dropping the bombshell that Sandra Bullock– previously assumed to be an innocent victim of Jesse James’s philandering– may basically be the second coming of Hitler himself:

[Although] I really like the idea of doing tequila shots and singing along to classic rock with Sandy B. at a dive bar somewhere… I’d really prefer not to consider another obvious angle on Jesse James’ overwhelming jackholery in the context of his marriage: the whole “birds of a feather” thing. So I can certainly understand why people are reluctant to say, “Hey, is it just me, or have we reached the point where it’s reasonable to wonder if Sandra Bullock kinda digs the Nazi scene herself?”

But, you know… is it just me, or have we reached that point?

While many might suggest that this opinion is completely preposterous, I wouldn’t want to be accused of being a Nazi sympathizer myself. Having enjoyed the film Speed, I know that I’m already on shaky ground here– birds of a feather and all that! I am therefore withholding judgment for the moment. But you can head on over to Jezebel and evaluate this alarming wrinkle for yourself! (Jezebel’s follow-up post can be found here.)

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