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!! OMG, Don’t Go Wasting Your Emotions: Chris Klein sings !!


Oh, heyyyyy, remember Chris Klein? To refresh your memory: he was the Nebraska teenager of vaguely Keanu-ish charms who was plucked from obscurity and cast against Reese Witherspoon in the brilliant Election as her dumb but lovable rival for Class President. He then went on to become a B-list teen idol, appearing in a bunch of movies that f*ck if I can remember and eventually ended up dating Katie Holmes for a long time before she brutally dumped him for Krazy Eyez Tom Cruise. (I have this theory that Chris is also little Suri C’s secret babydaddy, but I’ll keep it to myself because I would rather not get the Scientologist hit squad on my faggot ass!)
Anyway, I always thought Chris was super-cute in a balding way, and although he’s spent the bulk of this decade chilling with Freddie Prinze Jr. at the home for outtawork late-’90s heartthrob also-rans, it turns out that his looks have not faded. He’s hotter than ever if you ask me! Unfortunately, a new (maybe fake?) video reveals that he’s also the world’s worst singer.
Here, you’ll see him (supposedly) auditioning for Mamma Mia with a rendition of ABBA’s classic Swedey-pop anthem Lay All Your Love on Me that makes Anna-Nicole Smith’s Cousin Shelly look like Agnetha Faltskog and Mrs. the Countess Luann De Lesseps look like Anni-Frid Lyngstad.
Despite his less-than-angelic pipes, you have to give Chris credit for working it. He may not be able to sing, but throughout his disastrous performance he never wavers in his slack-jawed f*ck-me aplomb. And that’s entertainment, folks!
[Via Crushable]

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!! OMG, Predict Your Poop: Stool Scanner Lite !!

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Curious to know what your next poo will look like? Well who isn’t curious about the quality of their future bowel movements?! Now there’s a new iPhone application that will (supposedly) tell you. Either that or it’s just a gross joke— you can decide which.
All Stool Scanner Lite– the 29th most popular free iPhone application in the UK!– asks of you is that you press a finger from your “wiping hand” to the screen of your iPhone so it can take a stool sample. Oh, and then you press your face to the screen, for I don’t know what reason but it must be important!
The program then “analyzes” your “stool” and gives you a prediction as to your next dump. Firm or loose!? Dark chocolate or that weird yellowish color!? Stool Scanner Lite, the Magic 8 Ball of shit, has all the answers! You can even buy an upgrade which allows you to post your poop to Facebook. Classy!
(Gay tourism applications are still banned from the iPhone, though, so don’t even try.)
[WOW Report]

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