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!! OMG, crimes against the eyes and ears: Westboro Baptist Church cover Lorde’s ‘Royals’ and post very unglamorous Vine !!

I’ve always thought that auto-tune was the work of evil forces, and this just proves it!
Westboro Baptist Church has been fast at work in their underground redneck bunker recording studio, learning Melodyne and laying down their hot vocals in a casual baseball cap and without a stitch of makeup on (kind of like Xtina does) for their cover of Lorde‘s ‘Royals’. (If you want your ears to plead the blood of Jesus Christ, then go ahead click play below… seriously, I could only handle 3 seconds.)

Sadly, there’s no filthy rap break from Shirley Phelps at the bridge like I was hoping for… they did however post a Vine (find it after the jump) from outside Lorde‘s concert venue after Lorde instructed her fans to kiss them, where the hatemongers showed off their latest ready-to-wear busted fashions. Gas-station-sunglass-tower-meth-head-ready-to-wear vibes all around.

[[ OMG, there’s more: JUMP IN to read the rest ]]

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!! OMG, VIDEO: Toronto’s crack smoking mayor Rob Ford appears on Jimmy Kimmel !!

Kimmel ushered in Toronto’s Mayor Rob Ford with some reggae vibes to compliment his fake “Jamaican” accent on Monday night! And it all went downhill from there! Jimmy sort of went right for the bloated, red jugular, bringing up Ford’s “domestic abuse, drunk driving, racism, homophobia and inability to tell the truth.”
Check out the interview below!

When asked who paid for his trip to Kimmel, Ford spokesperson Amin Massoudi said:

“Mayor Ford and Coun. Ford are paying for themselves and the staff,” Massoudi said. “The ‘Jimmy Kimmel’ show paid for one dinner.”

ONE DINNER!? One dinner just isn’t gonna cut it! Ford also said:

“The apologies are over, I’m moving on.” He said people will judge him on his “proven track record.”

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!! OMG, Pussy whipped! Pussy Riot attacked by whip-wielding Russian cossacks near Sochi Olympics !!

Nadezhda “Nadia” Tolokonnikova and Maria “Masha” Alyokhina
are the brave, recently released members of Pussy Riot who have made headlines around the world for standing up to Russian President Vladimir Putin, and spreading the dismal truth about their Russian government.
New footage shows Russian cossacks attacking the girls with whips, pepper-spray and last but not least — their fists — during a set-up for one of Pussy Riot‘s non-violent protests at a public plaza in Sochi. We’re not sure they could have asked for a better backdrop to highlight the attacks, as the Sochi 2014 logo hovers in the back the entire time. Check out the disturbing (NSFRussia) attacks below.

[via the telegraph]

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!! OMG, 666 from the 907: Satanic teenage thrill-killer from North Pole claims to have murdered just under 100 ‘bad people’ in past 6 years !!

Eeeesh! 19-year-old Miranda Barbour of Pennsylvania just admitted to the killing of a man she located in a sex ad on Craigslist — under her murderous alter-ego Super Miranda! During an interview with The Daily Item, she also claimed she has killed just under around 100 ‘bad people’ from Alaska to North Carolina in the last 6 years as part of her involvement in joining a Satanic cult when she was only 13. How DEXTER of her! (They start so young nowadays!)
Anyhow — we can probably all rest easy tonight because even though Miranda‘s body’s saying “LET’S GO”, her heart is saying “NO”. She told investigators that she doesn’t want to get out of jail and that she would kill again if she were released, so we’re thinking they’re probably gonna throw away the key on this one.
This is all your fault, Alaska! Your weird, remote nether-regions always seem to find these lost souls and place them right into Satan’s warm lap! Example #1: Sarah Palin!

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!! OMG, part of your world: Prophet drowns during cleansing ceremony, family blame mermaids !!

Oh, this is some proper “Undah Da Sea” type shit!
A “self-styled prophet”, Simbarashe Kamupondera, drowned in the Ruwa River on Wednesday when he was swept away by a strong current during a cleansing ceremony in Epworth, Simbabwe! However, the family believes Simbarashe is still alive, and are claiming he was abducted by mermaids (known as Njuzu).

“Simbarashe came to stay with us a month ago. He has been telling us that he had a spirit of a mermaid. He also said that a prophet had prayed for a cloth that he gave him to always tie when getting into the waters. Yesterday he bought a new cloth after he had written his name on the old one saying that he could no longer use it. He tied it today before he got into the water,” Magma Mutingwende, Simbarashe’s sister-in-law said.
We believe that he was taken by a mermaid and we are not going to mourn him because we know that he is coming back,” Magma added.

GURRRL! I know da NILE runs deep, but get a GRIP! Somehow I don’t think it was Ariel this time. This all sounds a bit FISHY!
When a news crew arrived on the scene, Magma was already all packed up and getting ready to leave the river banks with her two friends who are also congregants of the small apostolic sect because it “was getting dark”.

“We have not told his wife as yet and we know that he is coming back.” Magma added.

…hopefully she catches this then. RIP Simbarashe!
[via nehandaradio]

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