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!! OMG, PO-KOMÉ-ON GIRL…TAKE IT EASY !: crocodile-tears counter-attack !!


My Pokédex app on my phone [no joke…really…I know] tells me that “Fake Tears” is a Pokémon move that lowers the Special Defense of an opponent by two stages…and the counter-move to this manipulative squealy attack ?…apparently the prompting of animal noise recollection.
if she was my bowl-headed POKÉMOANER I would pull my mirror move where you grab a compact mirror from your Margiela CONCEPT-CLUTCH and hold it up so she can see how much like a sobbing mushroom headed Pokéchild she is being, and then I would reward her with S’mores and Haribo baby-bears for being so blooming cute…leaky ducts and all, because she is lowering my Special Defense level by like 70-something stages !
PO-KOMÉ-ON GIRL…TAKE IT EASY !
[via laughingsquid]

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!! OMG, HAIRY MARYS: Guys with Fancy Lady Hair !!

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Every straight guy’s total nightm~hair [and gays’ dream-weave], your girlfriend and her friends hair-jack your head and style it to make you look like the prettiest little babydoll honey dew-drop with tumbling curls and pins-aplentious.
With their heads representing San Francisco and their hair-dos&dont’s representing the changing cityscape, website Bold-Italic took several guys and gays and plonked them into the hair salon hot seat to see how they dealt with change in their scalpted man-scapes; in a project to encourage openness to change in the city they reside in.
Click below to see the resultant dreamweaves, with such looks as;
“Junior Prom featuring neck hair” [ughhh, nightmare !],
“Brigitte Bardot”, looking like a mini-Mariah from the video “Honey” and a tad Russell Brand,
“Hippie Wedding” which is very P’trique “Chic Freak
and of course “Mormon Prom”, which is a look that screams “make me one of your polygamous sister-wives”…honey, that look has ‘wife number 7′ written all over it…
…times are a’changin’
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[[ OMG, there’s more: JUMP IN to read the rest ]]

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!! OMG, Oh M Girls ?!: Why does somebody not know how to flush a toilet after thev had a shaet ? !!


This little gir-l, let’s call her Agent Orange [obv, because I mean she is literally glowing orange from the low quality web cam], well she is my neon-orange beacon when times get hard, the light at the end of my tunnel so to speak.
Now Agent Orange comes with a mini version, same face, same hair, same glow of joy and hope and life…the looks on her wee sister’s face whilst she’s introducing her version of something that sounds like -well whatever she says there- and when she says “O” her sister-act’s face basically personifies this “o” sound…open mouth, open nostrils, open heart…CUE OPEN DOOR; take it away mom !
Barging in like an unexpected ravaging storm midst the shining sunlight of the double-sun dawn-break old momsy thunders ashore to ask the age-old NSFW existential question which has plagued philosophers for eternal-eons;

“Why does somebody not know how to flush a toilet after thev had a shaet ?”

…and right there and then, with that final fork-lightning thunder crack of “DERSGASTARNG” both of their hopes and dreams of pop-stardom come crashing down like a pile of “shaet”…and mine for them also…COMPLETELY “SHAETED” DREAMS !
[Thanks Ken Park !]

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!! OMG, SO-PHISTICATED: WTF episode 3 ‘Dressing for Guys’ !!


I desperately need some advice from Casey because the other day I went out wearing VELOUR NIPPLE-CLAMPS and a rainbow fade muff-wig, with matching pants-on-head RAINBOW-FADE MUFF-WIG-FASHIONED-AS-HEAD-WIG [just so the carpet matched the curtains, duuuurrrrr] and I got little-to-no attention from any of the men I saw. I don’t get it.
Finally answering this season’s fashion trickle-down highstreet summer female faux pas the high-waisted cut-off jean-short, vehement fashion feminist Casey Jane Ellison shows us how to dress for guys [who look like baby birds]…pheewwwww.
Proving that simultaneous ‘loving’ and ‘liking’ is possible in a head-to-toe look, Casey shows us several guy-magnetic looks including a “brunch lunch crunch”-friendly look inspired by old Hollywood glam Youtube make-up tutorial genre, which just goes to show that even if you hate this look on you [or anybody else for that matter] you should just totes get down to the vintage shop and put it on, because if it pleases Mike Schrampowicz who’s “LOL cats will eat your soul hole” then girl you are gonna GET YOUR HOLE EATEN and thus succeed in your ‘I-hate-it-he-loves-it-ultimately-hopefully-you’ll-be-taking-it-off-anyway fully formed flirty f*ckable lookable look’.
…and if all else fails, just pop on an easy breazy FUZZY FLESHTONES PIXEL TUBE DRESS and pulled down wicker sunshade-shadey-shades hat combo, this look is sure at least to draw attention…what sort of attention is totes questionable but all press is good press and a flesh-dress is a good flesh-dress…right ?!

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!! OMG, style-eye for the FBI: investigations into Mulder and Scully’s style-choices !!

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Earlier this year we took an in-depth look at Buffy The Vampire Slayer‘s wardrobe MALFRUMPTIONS, and now some clever little style-librarian has deconstructed the 9-seasonal wardrobe of X-Files’ anti-fashion agents Mulder and Scully.
I often pray to the alien gods for an unreleased X-Files episode where Scully gets snarled by a multi-limbed swamp-creature who would wrap it’s suckered tentacles around her waist to pull her into the murky depths, thus cinching in her overcoated waistline momentarily so that we get to see Dana in a sort of April O’Neil eager ginger go-with-the-flow get-up, but alas, she was always looking like she shopped in beige&brown town discount outfitters, her image only saved by her fiery long-bob.
I Want To Believe that Mulder’s clothing choices bettered those of his conspiracy nerd friends The Lone Gunmen with their heavy leather trenches and dweeby cartoon tshirts, yet the only time his wardrobe got my attention was his red Speedo scene which made me want to alien-invade his ass in search of THE TRUTH.
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Head over to Dazed where you can read all the truth about Calvin Kleining streamlining, Mulder’s color [and apparent style-] blindness, and Dana’s second season maternity-hiding frump-enhancing fashion-backwards choices.
Somebody call the Fashion Bureau of Investigations [the highest, most secretive rank of the Fashion Police] to discover where all the wardrobe budget went !

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