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!! OMG, REFABILITATION: Selfridges offers Barbie some things to wear !!

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Ever since Barbie started sleeping in that pink’n’purple pastel dream dumpster she has let – hair – self – go ! She’s all disorientated, her weave is crimped and not because she crimped it [because actually lying in fish-heads does that to polyester wig-hair] and quite frankly she ain’t got no-thing to even wear right now since her cardboard dumpster diving scuba gear disintegrated in the rain fall.
Well her new home isn’t called Dream Dumpster for nothing, dreams really do come true, and as Britney will testify you can go from balding rock-bottom to fashion-forward plastic fantastic as Selfridges London [taking pity on the poor dear] has commissioned three European designers to come up with some new threads for her to wear, on the condition that she get herself into the the REFABILITATION CLINIC, where they re-fabricate Barbie doll weaves, and legs and arms and torso and heads [otherwise known as a replacement dolly].
The Barbie Doll looks presented as part of Selfridges London’s toy shop opening can be seen after the jump.
Fred Butler went for;
concertina ballerina
lampshade hat [amber&shocking pink version]
pointy bangs and
wrapping paper-doll origarbie
Nasir Mazhar opted for;
neon green shag-rug boob-tube
flourescent-camo turtle-neck croptop and
bucket-head tracksuited ken-doll
…and finally Sister by Sibling went for full-on Clueless knit collection featuring;
Dionne knitted beret bobblehat
Cher matching high waisted pencil skirt-suit and
Tai [Brittany Murphy] Frasier post-makover long-sleeve knitted cardigans
…I can so see Cher Horowitz extending her phone aerial and cell-phoning Barbie in her Dream Dumpster “Erm, Barbie; do you prefer fashion victim or ensembly challenged?”

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!! OMG, Mr Munchies: cat gives raccoon an earful !!

I wonder what this tastes li- OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY!!!!
Erm, what, it wasn’t enough to steal their Meow Mix in great gobby handfuls, now you’re getting the munchies so bad you have to resort to catibalism ?! You do know that cats taste like cat, not Meow Mix right ?
That look of regret on his face when she reacts, I know this look from one time when I did a shot of Peach Melba Schnapps in the jacuzzi, lost my traction and ended up heel-punching some shy lesbian friend-of-a-friend in the face, I was all soft-pawing her apologetically in the hopes she wouldn’t cat scratch my face off and drown my drunken tomfoolery ass !
[via imgur, thanks Bear!]

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!! OMG, collecting dust: Records made of cremated remains !!

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A few months back we posted a record made of ice, an ephemeral piece which would -on listening- likely melt and run all over your record player, your teak dresser and your favorite Disney princess carpet-rug. Well, British company And Vinyly will take that dead Disney princess magic carpet and press it’s cremated remains into a record, which could play the soundtrack of ‘Magic Carpet Ride‘ [aka ‘A Whole New World‘] from Aladin, whilst you weep and [maybe leak] over the loss of several woven Disney princess friends in your own personal -not gay at all- Disney princess wake ! With a little more permanence than that icy leaky disk you bought back when !
If you didn’t buy the ice record so non of this ever ever happened but your Guinea pig called -let’s say- Mr Snugglepusspuss just died, And Vinyly will press that pig in a record, you can select a special sing-a-long song from their online ‘raveyard’ and even have Mr Snugglepusspuss released in record stores..one day an unassuming slightly overfed wad of fuzzy-fluff, the next a global pop sensation, I know £3000 seems a little expensive as an initial investment but -you know- Britney has sacrificed a lot [hair, sanity, lactation, umbrellas] to become the old Mommy Smurfette superstar she is now…
[via dummy]

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!! OMG, MOHAIRY !: Michael Käpernick’s hairy garments !!

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Designed by German hair and makeup artist Michael Käpernick, this collection of hairy garments will leave you feeling like you have a pube wrapped around your tonsils, either that or you do [have a pube wrapped around your tonsils] still !
What I want to know is where he got all that pubic mohair material from, I haven’t seen that one at my local Fabricland, what would that be under, upholstery, outdoors, the pubic swathes and genital haberdashery aisles ?
Click below to see more looks from the collection. Me personally, I’m waiting for his line of pubic nipple-less tube tops and HIGH-WAISTED BALACLAVAS to come out next season !

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!! OMG, Why you so obsessed with BEANS ?: Bankrupt By Beanies !!

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Apart from a free MacDonalds Orca Whale Teenie Baby that my husband found in a muddy puddle once, that I’ve since made into a seashore corsage, my Beanie Baby obsession ends right there…unless they made a rare Charmed sister trio collection from ribbed velveteen, in which case I would definitely be a little obsessed about those little ladies.
For Chris Robinson’s dad, he just cuddle help himself and he bought $100’000 worth of bean-filled ‘babies’, bankrupting the family and causing a world shortage of beans [not really].
You can watch the feature length doc Chris directed about his family’s beany-bankruptcy over at DAZED as well as a quick Q&A where Chris discusses recruiting other peoples children to buy Beanies for the family, Beanie Baby road-trippin’, and Beanie fueled bonfires.

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