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!! OMG, BEST IN SHOW-NO!: hairy plumage themed dog groomage !!

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How in houndstooth hell you even begin to start judging who is best in show in this competition is beyond me, my indecision on these canine contestants went a little like this:
Ok, best in show goes to underwater choral reef creatures dog, no no; Yoda dog with Ewok ass, no no no; competing circus animals fighting under the bigtop dog, no; splodgey Disney characters dog face on dog face plus secret waving UDDERED Mini Mouse round the back dog…such indecision…that was…until I saw this special fella right here:
Sesame Street Big Bird head and forelegs with Elmo back legs, Rubber Duckie tail and sad other decapitated dog-head stuffed in trash can to represent Oscar from Sesame Street!
Erm, hello, clear winner! But go ahead and look at the losers after the jump anyway because nice try but Big Bird always wins…word of the day would be “funfortunate”, no “groomazing”, no no “HAIRlarious!”

[[ OMG, there’s more: JUMP IN to read the rest ]]

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!! OMG, Petunia puts her proud-foot forward: Face of Furry Creek, episode 3 roundup !!


If you missed The Farce of Flurry Croak on Monday, here’s the roundup of it all you lazy bartch!
Just like Anderson Pooper the contestants hopped on the instagranny-trolly to pap some “unChristian” pictures of this that and the other.
In this episode we found out why Sisi Sickles’ “misshapen and sagging body” got eliminated, how new contestant and friend-of-Jesus Petunia Proudfoot manages to wear such an enormous denim skirt and why reporter Brenda Bergman always has one busy hand behind her back as she admits to some nightly hidden hand calamities.
You can follow the contestants of TFoFC HERE, where you can vote for you most least worst nominee.

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!! OMG, BACK RIGHT OFF YOU PERV: anti-pervert leggings !!

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Described on Chinese site Weibo as “Super sexy, summertime anti-pervert full-leg-of-hair stockings, essential for all young girls going out” these hairy leggings are supposed to be worn at the sea-side [probably in addition to Chinese beach balaclava] to deter unwanted male attention.
Although I believe it may deter attention from certain pervs I’m pretty sure you will simultaneously receive all kinds of other attention from gays with a penchant for MASKED HAIRY TWINKY ASIAN LADY-BOYS, so this is maybe not a wardrobe ploption for your long weekend Fire Island get-away; you may want to opt for sandy sleeping bag all-in-one coverup to keep that kind of hungry island gay away!
[via chinasmack]

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!! OMG, CHICK C’EST CHIC : hen ‘saddles’ !!

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OK, so apparently ^ THIS ^ is a thing now.
In THIS video, you can discover how it is you dress your chicken:
“So to put a diaper on a chicken [I honestly cannot even believe this]…you wanna keep her fresh [OK, fresh, got it]….cover her poophole [this makes my poophole invert]…blah blah blah so you don’t hurt her”
…HURT HER?!
What do you think this dumpy BATIK-C’EST-CHIC is gonna do to her street-cred? I think if the other chickens see she has that on they will beat the chicken crap out of her ‘poophole’; first off for having to wear a diaper because she keeps shatting herself and secondly,,,because she’s wearing a frigging batik diaper bib dress dungarees apron thingy. Cluck cluck honey, cluck cluck !
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[via oddity]

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!! OMG, HAIRY & THE HENDERSONS: Breach’s ‘Jack’ !!


Honestly, if I don’t get a trim down there once a week I get all Maison Margiela hairy couture creature, so I can totally relate to the hair horrors in this video.
Featuring some seriously silky pubic facial wigs and an EBONY & IVORY ‘Harry and the Hendersons’ HIS & HERS’ dance-off, this is Breach’s video for ‘Jack’ which is the last thing I want to do after viewing this…in fact it should be called ‘Get Electrolysis’, as in;

“I want your body, everybody wants your body so let’s GET ELECTROLYSIS!”

Seriously, book an appointment now Hairy Mary, I’m getting pubes between my teeth just watching you ‘jack’!
[via discobelle]

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