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!! OMG, Berlin grocery store ALDI got its second delivery of cocaine yesterday, this time worth €15 million !!

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The Lindsay Lohan of Germany is fucking AUFGEREGT again today, as her stash got intercepted at the ALDI grocery store UHGAIN while making its way through Berlin!

The Sydney Morning Herald reports that a whopping 386kg – about €15 million worth – of cocaine ended up in the shops from Colombia, described as the “biggest single” coke find ever in the country.

Police spokesman Stefan Redlich said: “Apparently there was a logistical mistake somewhere along the line”. No shit.

It’s not the first time Aldi’s been the unintended destination for the nose sherbet, with about €6 million worth found in banana crates last year. Maybe the traffickers should try a different tactic next time…

What the hell are all the DJs in Berlin going to do now?! They’re not staying up from Saturday til Monday on just Club Mate! This is a catastrophe!

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!! OMG, it’s Igor’s Look Of The Week: Tess Christian, who claims she hasn’t smiled in 40 years !!

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Tess Christian claims she hasn’t smiled in over 40 years in order to maintain a wrinkless face — even to the extent where she claims her child’s own birth couldn’t rise it out of her:

“After Stevie’s birth I was overwhelmed with joy, but still didn’t feel the need to smile”

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Above is Tess today, and below is Tess in her youth (ehem…with a babe for a boyfriend).
Tess claims thats non-smiling is more effective than Botox. That sounds like some sort vicious propaganda to me. I mean, I wanna see all you queens loaded to the lashes with Botox. Just SURGED! Always good for a smile.
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!! OMG, take me to your leader: Over 130,000 pages of declassified Air Force files on UFOs are now available in PDF online !!

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Grab your tinfoil helmets, folks, because over 130,000 pages of declassified Air Force files on UFO investigations and sightings are now available in one place online to fuel your unearthly paranoia! CNN reports:

Declassified government records about UFOs have long existed on microfilm in the National Archives in Washington, DC. Many of them also live on websites devoted to the topic, sometimes free, sometimes not.
But UFO enthusiast John Greenewald says his database, Project Blue Book Collection, is the first to compile every single declassified document from the Blue Book project — headquartered at Wright-Patterson Air Force Base in Ohio from 1947 to 1969 — in one place for anyone to search or download for free.
The collection consists of files from Project Blue Book, Project Sign and Project Grudge, the names given to official investigations into unidentified flying objects by the United States military.
The collection contains 10,000 PDFs, each representing a different case. The files include the details of some of the most famous UFO cases, including the Exeter incident, the Kenneth Arnold sighting and the Mantell crash.
Still, Greenewald believes the contents are “just the tip of the iceberg.”
“It’s all a puzzle,” he said. “Just when you think you’ve got all the pieces to make a picture, you realize it’s only a piece of a bigger puzzle.”

You can check out any PDF from any year or any location by scrolling through the database HERE. Why not check out your hometown?

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