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!! OMG, Berlin grocery store ALDI got its second delivery of cocaine yesterday, this time worth €15 million !!

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The Lindsay Lohan of Germany is fucking AUFGEREGT again today, as her stash got intercepted at the ALDI grocery store UHGAIN while making its way through Berlin!

The Sydney Morning Herald reports that a whopping 386kg – about €15 million worth – of cocaine ended up in the shops from Colombia, described as the “biggest single” coke find ever in the country.

Police spokesman Stefan Redlich said: “Apparently there was a logistical mistake somewhere along the line”. No shit.

It’s not the first time Aldi’s been the unintended destination for the nose sherbet, with about €6 million worth found in banana crates last year. Maybe the traffickers should try a different tactic next time…

What the hell are all the DJs in Berlin going to do now?! They’re not staying up from Saturday til Monday on just Club Mate! This is a catastrophe!

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!! OMG, it’s Igor’s Look Of The Week: Tess Christian, who claims she hasn’t smiled in 40 years !!

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Tess Christian claims she hasn’t smiled in over 40 years in order to maintain a wrinkless face — even to the extent where she claims her child’s own birth couldn’t rise it out of her:

“After Stevie’s birth I was overwhelmed with joy, but still didn’t feel the need to smile”

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Above is Tess today, and below is Tess in her youth (ehem…with a babe for a boyfriend).
Tess claims thats non-smiling is more effective than Botox. That sounds like some sort vicious propaganda to me. I mean, I wanna see all you queens loaded to the lashes with Botox. Just SURGED! Always good for a smile.
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