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!! OMG, how pure: Our daughters !!

purity-princesses.jpg
“Because we cherish our daughters as regal princesses…”
Get your daughters ready! The 2007 Colorado Springs Father/Daughter Purity Ball is coming up and she needs to decide what to wear (besides her chastity belt). All you have to do for your little girl to be a part is to pay $85 and take this pledge:

I, (DAUGHTER’S NAME)’S FATHER, CHOOSE BEFORE GOD TO COVER MY DAUGHTER AS HER AUTHORITY AND PROTECTION IN THE AREA OF PURITY. I WILL BE PURE IN MY OWN LIFE AS A MAN, HUSBAND AND FATHER. I WILL BE A MAN OF INTEGRITY AND ACCOUNTABLITY AS I LEAD, GUIDE AND PRAY OVER MY DAUGHTER AND MY FAMILY AS THE HIGH PRIEST IN MY HOME. THIS COVERING WILL BE USED BY GOD TO INFLUENCE GENERATIONS TO COME.

Oh, and your little girl is also supposed to be a virgin, but I don’t think anyone’s checking.
(Thanks to Laura F. for the tip!)

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comments

    Obviously you haven’t lived in Colorado Springs, the most sinful city in the world. They don’t call it the Hate State for no reason.

    high priest ? check. virgins ? check. what, no volcanoes ?? and you call yourselves a cult ?!

    Darn, somebody beat me to an incest joke.

    These dads are kinda creepy, makes my skin crawl. And these girls, virgins? Yeah sure….as long as they only do oral and anal sex, they are still technically virgins. Virgin my ass.

    You mean there are no “Mother/Son Purity Balls”?
    If not, why?

    I notice that protection from the girls performing oral sex wasn’t mentioned on the pledge. Hey, technically, they’d still be virgins.
    And if the girls go lesbian … well, problem solved!!
    Oh geez, the father’s have to be pure as well? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    Methinks Daddy is taking a little too much interest in Princess’s hoo-ha.

    That’s creepy…

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