You heard right: another shot has been fired in the ongoing WAR AGAINST CHRISTMAS. First the Gap was not suitably yule-y enough in their television ads, and now The Charlie Brown Christmas Special will NOT be airing tonight as previously scheduled. WHY? Because President Obama is giving some dumb speech! And I have a feeling it will not be about the impending Rapture or Christ’s Holy Wrath. In other words: not very CHRISTMASY!
According to my sources at the White House, the beloved Charles Schulz Christmas classic will instead air only on Kenyan/Muslim television. Start your letter writing campaign… NOW!
While you’re scribbling, you’ll just have to content yourself with watching the above clip one thousand times, just like I’ve spent all morning doing. (For those wondering, I dance just like the girl in the purple dress.) HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!