Well, um, that was fun.
If you watched the previews for last night’s finale of The A-List— the Logo channel’s answer to Battlestar Galactica except with malfunctioning gay androids instead of Cylons– you know that we loyal viewers were breathlessly promised that ALL WOULD FINALLY BE REVEALED in this week’s ultimate episode.
And they were not lying either! That is, if by “ALL” they meant “the contents of the cast’s empty heads.” (I swear to God the inside of Reichen Lemkuhl’s brain must look like a cleared out storage unit with nothing but a few dust-bunnies and a torn, crumpled up page from the back of NEXT magazine to prove that anyone was ever there at all.)
Look, my standards for reality television are not at all high! I can sit happily in front of Millionaire Matchmaker for hours without complaining at all. (Well, maybe a little, but that’s the fun.)
But as an avid watcher of basically any housewife that Bravo puts in front of my adoring face, I am sad to say that the gays, given their own reality show, have disappointed us all. These queens make the Real Housewives of New York City look like regulars at the f*cking Algonquin Round Table. Big red overgrown sex baby Reichen Lemkuhl, the show’s self-professed “singer” (who is open and unapologetic about the incontrovertible fact that he sucks at singing?) makes Kim “Tardy to the Party” Zolciak look like Dusty Springfield.
This show was filled with some of the most vapid, preening vipers that reality television has ever seen. Which is saying a lot! And other than Rodiney, Reichen’s Brazilian boyfriend whose lack of conversational English may or may not belie an personality, they were also pretty much all butt-ugly, too. (Mike Ruiz, the show’s one other semi-respectable/attractive castmember was barely featured, probably because he was so embarrassed by the whole thing that he ran in the other direction whenever he saw the cameras coming.)
Dear Logo channel executives: I’m not saying that teevee for gays has to be Masterpiece Theater or anything, because I don’t even watch that! I’m just saying that if you’re going to give us trash, at least make it as entertaining as the trash available to straight people. Don’t we at least deserve our own Ramona and Luann?
It’s not asking a lot.