He likes to sit on your floor, on your couch or at you dinner table. But most of all he likes to lay down next to you in bed. With your head on his chest and his arms wrapped around you. This way you will never feel alone ever again. With this man you can be sure, he will never leave you.
Got that girls, “never leave you”, so you can scream at him and be a total blooming bitch to him and he’ll still stay, just like a real life straight dude, and just like a real dude he can buy accessories and he has nipples and even a wooly 5 o’clock shadow, but unlike a real dude, you can bung him in the wash when he starts to get musty, and he wont try and cover up that HAMSTER PUBEY SMELL with Sea-Breeze Axe spray…pee-ew!
Basically he could only be more perfect if he had a massive knitted schlong that you could pop a woven condom on and ride ALL KNIT LONG!
You can read his story HERE, and see more pics and a video of ‘My Knitted Boyfriend’ [I’m calling him Fhread now], after the jump.