When I was a kid, all the future-gays at my school carried around little Tamagotchis. It was basically a digital, pink egg on a tiny keychain with a little bird inside who’s shit you’d have to clean up and who whined all day… sounds pretty gay to me! Well, here in 2014, Nintendo decided to play dumb and say that in their new life-sim game ‘Tomodachi Life’ — that gays just don’t exist!
Their reasoning? They’re not trying to make a statement here:
“Nintendo never intended to make any form of social commentary with the launch of Tomodachi Life,” Nintendo of America Inc. said in a statement. “The relationship options in the game represent a playful alternate world rather than a real-life simulation. We hope that all of our fans will see that Tomodachi Life was intended to be a whimsical and quirky game, and that we were absolutely not trying to provide social commentary.”
Right! Social commentary… Tomodachi‘s slogan is “Your friends, your drama, your life.” — ERRRM how is there meant to be any DRAMA without the gays around? Please, inform me.
One player, Tye Marini, a gay 23-year-old Nintendo fan from Mesa, Arizona, is pissed about the exclusion of gays of his gaming experience, and launched a campaign last month urging Nintendo Co. and Nintendo America Inc. to add same-sex relationship options to their games in English.
The game was originally released in Japan last year and features a cast of Mii characters – Nintendo’s personalized avatars of real players – living on a virtual island. Gamers can do things like shop, visit an amusement park, play games, go on dates and encounter celebrities like Christina Aguilera and Shaquille O’Neal. “Tomodachi” means “friend” in Japanese
HOLD THE PHONE — so you can want to meet Christina Augilera , in person, and somehow NOT BE A GAY!? This is some weird Twilight Zone-esque shit that DOES NOT COMPUTE! Get it together, Nintendo!
“I want to be able to marry my real-life fiance’s Mii, but I can’t do that,” Marini said in a video posted online that attracted the attention of gaming blogs and online forums this week. “My only options are to marry some female Mii, to change the gender of either my Mii or my fiance’s Mii or to completely avoid marriage altogether and miss out on the exclusive content that comes with it.”
I know, baby. I know. Someday soon…