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!! OMG, How Hazardous: The Perils of Paula Deen !!

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Paula Deen sure does lead a dangerous and exciting life! Between all that deep frying and artery-clogging pig-outtery it’s a miracle she hasn’t been harmed in a food-related accident already. But who would have guessed that the tool of her injury would be a flying ham? Let’s just hope this isn’t part of a trend. When Sandra Lee gets conked over the head with a supermarket birthday cake covered in canned chili, it’s time to set up a relief drive!
Watch the video here.

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!! OMG, who hates ‘The X Factor’? !!

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What British singer has this to say about The X Factor (the UK’s version of American Idol)?

It’s a preposterous show, and you have judges who have no recognizable talent apart from self-promotion. Basically I was looking at televised karaoke where they conform to stereotypes. It is a soap opera which has nothing to do with music.

Find the answer here.

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!! OMG, sabre-tooth tigers are the new cougars! !!


Although I’m completely sick of hearing about “Cougars,” the world’s fakest and most annoying trend, I am quite intrigued at the notion of Sabre-tooth Tigers. They’re cougars, but, you know, older. And what octogenarian could be more sexually desirable than the luscious Cloris Leachman? I have wanted this woman to teach me The Facts of Life ever since she played Mrs. Garrett’s hot-to-trot sister (?) Beverly Ann Stickle. Dear Cloris: let’s get in over our heads!

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!! OMG, Don’t Go: Oprah Winfrey Quits !!


Noooo! I’m sure you’ve heard the news by now that Her Royal O-ness, Ms. Oprah Winfrey, is abandoning us! By which I mean, she’s leaving her syndicated talk show (in 2011) for the greener pastures of her own television network– which will, of course, be called OWN. Because what is Oprah about more than consumption, wealth and OWNING things?
Don’t leave us, Oprah! Without your show I will have no one to lull me to sleep during my daily 4pm nap!

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!! OMG, Before She Was Famous: Lady Gaga !!


Lady Gaga’s always talking about how she got her start as the “queen of New York’s gay underground.” It’s all very Bette Midler/Madonna but, oh wait– I guess Lady Gaga’s version of the New York gay underground scene is actually the NYU talent show!
Not exactly Danceteria, but I guess in the end there is actually barely any difference.

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