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!! OMG, Petunia puts her proud-foot forward: Face of Furry Creek, episode 3 roundup !!


If you missed The Farce of Flurry Croak on Monday, here’s the roundup of it all you lazy bartch!
Just like Anderson Pooper the contestants hopped on the instagranny-trolly to pap some “unChristian” pictures of this that and the other.
In this episode we found out why Sisi Sickles’ “misshapen and sagging body” got eliminated, how new contestant and friend-of-Jesus Petunia Proudfoot manages to wear such an enormous denim skirt and why reporter Brenda Bergman always has one busy hand behind her back as she admits to some nightly hidden hand calamities.
You can follow the contestants of TFoFC HERE, where you can vote for you most least worst nominee.

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!! OMG, BACK RIGHT OFF YOU PERV: anti-pervert leggings !!

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Described on Chinese site Weibo as “Super sexy, summertime anti-pervert full-leg-of-hair stockings, essential for all young girls going out” these hairy leggings are supposed to be worn at the sea-side [probably in addition to Chinese beach balaclava] to deter unwanted male attention.
Although I believe it may deter attention from certain pervs I’m pretty sure you will simultaneously receive all kinds of other attention from gays with a penchant for MASKED HAIRY TWINKY ASIAN LADY-BOYS, so this is maybe not a wardrobe ploption for your long weekend Fire Island get-away; you may want to opt for sandy sleeping bag all-in-one coverup to keep that kind of hungry island gay away!
[via chinasmack]

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!! OMG, unmasked: Miss Utah is Alyssa Edwards !!

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Not content with her sixth place finish on the latest season of Rupaul’s Drag Race, star contestant Alyssa Edwards decided to go undercover and enter the big leagues as Miss Utah “Marissa Powell.”
Unfortunately she got tripped up by a thought-provoking question from Miss USA judge and former Real Housewife of Atlanta NeNe Leakes. If you haven’t already seen the debacle, you can watch it after the jump.

[[ OMG, there’s more: JUMP IN to read the rest ]]

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!! OMG, wave wrinkles goodbye: the ‘Facewaver’ exercise mask !!

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This young lady looks ever-so-slightly shocked and surprised, I feel awful for her that she has to wear that unsightly head-sleeve until which time her face heals from that atrocious house-fire she was trapped in…what do you mean this isn’t the burns ward it’s the nurses staff room?
Let me re-phrase that; this silly lady has nothing wrong with her other than the fact that she is wearing what looks somewhat like Nicolas Cage’s Face/Off FACIAL FLAP, the “ribbed for her pleasure” version with easy-release Velcro pads which she heard make your wrinkles simply fly away from you; literally, your wrinkles grow tiny-weeny limbs and scamper off!…OR NOT, which is probably the reason why she looks so blooming shocked and surprised, as she’s a nurse and should know better than to spend $60 on what is essentially an OVERSIZED MARIGOLD DISH-WASHING RUBBER GLOVE!
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[via oddity]

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!! OMG, KOR BLIMEY!: Michael Kors’ best Pro Ro quotes !!


Neon-beige faced fashion drag-queen overlord ORIGAMI ROSE [more commonly known as Michael Kors] has -over the year- pulled some really descriptive diuretic diamonds out his leathery hag fag bottom for ‘Project Runway’.
I’m getting fashion hunger pains just hearing him spout about “avocado goiters, rigatoni Mad Max’s and ugly Aztec cakes”…sounds like the perfect 3-Kors meal…washed down with an ORIGAMI ROSÉ SPRITZER…of Kors!
[via papermag]

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