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!! OMG, He’s Finally Naked: Levi Johnston !!

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Like any good homosexual, I just back from an elaborate five-hour brunch (thanks Zack!) only to discover my inbox full with the news that the Levi Johnston Playgirl pictures have leaked. THANK GOD! Maybe now we will never have to hear about this person again. (Although considering what a famewhore he is, Mr. Johnston and his bodyguard/publicist Tank Jones will find some way to keep tormenting us.)
Anyway, as expected, Levi coyly conceals his Alaskan salmon-bait. That’s right, guys: NO D. The only surprise here is that disturbing discovery that he shaves his pubes. PUKE!
Get a load of Levi’s butt, bare chest and stubbly crotch after the jump! Not safe for work! Via Oh No They Didn’t.

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!! OMG photos: Peaches Live !!

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I experienced my first Peaches concert Wednesday night when the Canadian electro pop superstar arrived for a hometown show at Toronto’s Phoenix Concert Theatre. I’d swooned over “Kick It” for years, and this was my anthem in high school, but unlike every other gay in the city, I’d never had the pleasure of seeing the woman herself. It was worth the wait.
A frenzied crowd packed the venue as Vangelis’ Blade Runner theme played and three backup dancers in swamp monster regalia took the stage and shook their swampy booties to a bad ass rendition of “Mud”. Peaches finally emerged wearing a costume resembling a cross between a woolly mammoth and a bird’s nest. She lumbered around in it some more before stripping down to a pink bodysuit-cum-superhero jumper to belt out hits “Serpentine” and “Kick It”.
A proper initiation.
Check out photos of the mayhem after the jump.

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!! OMG, who hates ‘The X Factor’? !!

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What British singer has this to say about The X Factor (the UK’s version of American Idol)?

It’s a preposterous show, and you have judges who have no recognizable talent apart from self-promotion. Basically I was looking at televised karaoke where they conform to stereotypes. It is a soap opera which has nothing to do with music.

Find the answer here.

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!! OMG, A Broken Clock Is Right Twice a Day! !!

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Obviously this bitch is an ignorant pig! However, having been (belatedly) introduced to GRINDR this weekend, I can’t say that I totally disagree with her. This computer thing is clearly the tool of homosexual devils!
UPDATE: Several readers have rightly pointed out that this is a sneaky lesbian joke! I was too stupid to notice the rainbow flag and telltale haircut. (Hey, everyone knows that the line between old lezbn and krazy kristian is a fine one!)
SO the moral here is that I am a fool and that a broken clock is actually never right. I stand by my conclusion, though: the computer IS a homosexual tool of the devil. Who can dispute this!
(Via Lady Bunny)

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!! OMG, sabre-tooth tigers are the new cougars! !!


Although I’m completely sick of hearing about “Cougars,” the world’s fakest and most annoying trend, I am quite intrigued at the notion of Sabre-tooth Tigers. They’re cougars, but, you know, older. And what octogenarian could be more sexually desirable than the luscious Cloris Leachman? I have wanted this woman to teach me The Facts of Life ever since she played Mrs. Garrett’s hot-to-trot sister (?) Beverly Ann Stickle. Dear Cloris: let’s get in over our heads!

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