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!! OMG, the rapture cometh, but wait for the dropeth: 13 Year-Old DJ Opens Dance Club In Texas !!

In UM and WTF type of news: A 13 year-old girl/DJ by the name of Ellisa Freeman, also known as DJ Elle Morgan, of Houston, Texas has decided to use all that hard-earned paper route money and tooth-fairy coinage to open up a new dance club in the area for teens and tweens ages 9 to 15!
The club is called Elle’s House and is located in an indoor kid’s party place called Pump it Up (!!) According to PulseRadio:

Although it was originally met with mixed feelings from skeptical and concerned parents, they have quickly realized that the club is a safe destination for their kids

Yeah, no shit! Not to sound like One Million Moms here, but you’re dropping your kids off at a club called Elle’s House located inside a Pump It Up. Say that last bit aloud to yourself 5 times fast. How does that sit with you? Go get yer damn kids!

Instead of relying on alcohol sales, the venue serves more age appropriate snacks such as pizza, soda, and candy. The club’s rules state that there will be no bad language, no kissing, and no twerking. DJ Elle adds, “Anything that wouldn’t fly at my house is not going to fly here… but it’s been really clean so far. Only PG.”

“SO FAR.” Look Elle, sweetie, you don’t wanna get mixed up in running a nightclub. It’s a shady business. Get out now while you can (regardless of the twerk ban at your venue). Also, “Candy” is a very heat-y term. You’re not foolin’ anyone, much less cops with that one… Okay so obviously this idea does not compute for me, but if I have yet to change your mind, and you’re about to hit the clubs with the kids, check out Elle’s sick beats in the set below while you’re getting ready:

[via pulseradio]

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