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!! OMG, cannibalistic ballistic picnic: Jaimie Warren for Pee-wee Herman !!

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What happens when you cross children’s TV shows Pee-wee’s Playhouse and Whoop Dee Doo?…It’s not A PEE PEE AND A DOO DOO but is in fact a star-studded bike ride -slash- picnic massacre palava scenario that’s what !
This is exactly what happened when Pee-wee set fellow kid’s show host Jaimie Warren the following task:

“Take a photo of yourself on a bicycle trip and show me the picnic you have when you get there.”

Any regular old person would just hop in their insta-pram and snap some pixnix of some -without the crusts- triangular cucumber sandwiches on a paper plate but Food’lebrities‘ and ‘Totally Looks Like creator Warren decided instead to dress [obv] as “Blob on a bike”, scare the poised crap out of the re-imagined members of Édouard Manet’s The Luncheon on the Grass and proceed to luncheon-binge on Dolly Parton, Pee-wee Herman, Grace Jones, Oprah Winfrey, Joan Rivers, and Little Richard, simultaneously all guests and menu items on the bike-crashed picnic-palooza.
Click below to see evidence of Warren’s cannibalistic ballistic picnic assignment featuring menu items;
Pee-wee Her-meatballs,
Gra-strawberry cake Jones,
Oprah Win-fruit and veggies,
Dolly P-ancakes,
Joan River-salmon platter, and
Little Ri-cheese plate

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!! OMG, What the F*shion? EDGISODE 2: ‘Edgy F*shion Is A Thing’ !!


So let’s review Casey Jane Ellison‘s TAARP TAAPS on how to look “eggy”:
1) Putting fingers up; this can be pinky and index, or middle and index, it has to be index, it can only be two [as long as it’s not thumb and index, this would be super ‘loser-sign’ which is so very out-of-fashion, it’s basically the finger version of saying “whaaazaaaap”.
2) A lip color that looks like you drank the Kool Aid or sucked on a Chupa-Chups, or you just dorrrrn’t carrrrrrr !
3) Over accessorizing; mainly spike-studs, just shite-loads of them, you can never have enough, and the best pairing is spike-studs with spike studs with SNARL-FACE and spike studs…feel free to overdo this one, because spike studs are IN NO WAY the cliché appliqué that anyone who is not edgy wears to give the impression they are definitely not edgy or punk or alternative or dirty and rough but whatever.
4) Lastly…”haaarts”, this -btw- is “hats” for lazy gaarls who can barely be bothered finishing their words, pronouncing consonants, let alone finishing whole sentences.
…and remember, the most edgy thing you can do is like spend VENTI-LOADS OF CAARSH just not even bothering…right ?! Nonchalance is the new punk !!

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!! OMG, taking out the trailer trash: scubear dumpster diving !!


We are no strangers here at omgblog to the rumors that ‘the little skank that shouldn’t’ that bitch-botch mega whore Barbie has been totes down on her luck recently…first it was reported that she’s been living in a two-tone garbage receptacle, then she became so starved of attention and out of her mind that she started just plain prancing around naked, to the point where all her designer -no longer- friends decided to whip some outfits up for her so she wasn’t going STARK-IN-THE-PARK .
Well she’s also been hanging around with the wrong crowd; reportedly Meow Mix-snatching raccoons, hiphop has-been Roland the Rat, and apparently she owes a lot of money to a dealer by the name of ‘Papa Bear’, who sent around one of his heavies to rough her up last night:
Caught on camera, this Hairy Mary was seen harassing and cajoling Little B at her front door [a dumpster lid], threatening that he wanted to “chew her plastic ass up” and wear her new shrunken designer Selfridges outfits as paw-mittens !
If that wasn’t effed up enough, he then decided to haul that dreamsicle trailer right on out of there with Barbiepoops all inside and screaming her ass off ! There’s a rumor that Barbie’s trash trailer was renamed The Barbie Barge Boat after being seen floating along the river this morning, with Barbie herself manning ship, screeching “ahoy me-harties” and sloshing back a mickey of cheap spiced rum high out of her Barbie brains !
Looks like Jean-Paul Gaultier is going to have to step in now to design her some naughty nautical looks, and try getting that plastic Lohansbeen in ship-shape before she goes all Goldie Hawn Overboard !
[via papermag]

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!! OMG, REFABILITATION: Selfridges offers Barbie some things to wear !!

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Ever since Barbie started sleeping in that pink’n’purple pastel dream dumpster she has let – hair – self – go ! She’s all disorientated, her weave is crimped and not because she crimped it [because actually lying in fish-heads does that to polyester wig-hair] and quite frankly she ain’t got no-thing to even wear right now since her cardboard dumpster diving scuba gear disintegrated in the rain fall.
Well her new home isn’t called Dream Dumpster for nothing, dreams really do come true, and as Britney will testify you can go from balding rock-bottom to fashion-forward plastic fantastic as Selfridges London [taking pity on the poor dear] has commissioned three European designers to come up with some new threads for her to wear, on the condition that she get herself into the the REFABILITATION CLINIC, where they re-fabricate Barbie doll weaves, and legs and arms and torso and heads [otherwise known as a replacement dolly].
The Barbie Doll looks presented as part of Selfridges London’s toy shop opening can be seen after the jump.
Fred Butler went for;
concertina ballerina
lampshade hat [amber&shocking pink version]
pointy bangs and
wrapping paper-doll origarbie
Nasir Mazhar opted for;
neon green shag-rug boob-tube
flourescent-camo turtle-neck croptop and
bucket-head tracksuited ken-doll
…and finally Sister by Sibling went for full-on Clueless knit collection featuring;
Dionne knitted beret bobblehat
Cher matching high waisted pencil skirt-suit and
Tai [Brittany Murphy] Frasier post-makover long-sleeve knitted cardigans
…I can so see Cher Horowitz extending her phone aerial and cell-phoning Barbie in her Dream Dumpster “Erm, Barbie; do you prefer fashion victim or ensembly challenged?”

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!! OMG, Mr Munchies: cat gives raccoon an earful !!

I wonder what this tastes li- OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY!!!!
Erm, what, it wasn’t enough to steal their Meow Mix in great gobby handfuls, now you’re getting the munchies so bad you have to resort to catibalism ?! You do know that cats taste like cat, not Meow Mix right ?
That look of regret on his face when she reacts, I know this look from one time when I did a shot of Peach Melba Schnapps in the jacuzzi, lost my traction and ended up heel-punching some shy lesbian friend-of-a-friend in the face, I was all soft-pawing her apologetically in the hopes she wouldn’t cat scratch my face off and drown my drunken tomfoolery ass !
[via imgur, thanks Bear!]

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