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!! OMG, wipe that google pap smear: PERSIA’s “Google Google Apps Apps” !!


It’s like Divine David just replaced his dial-up modem with some sort of supranet connection and is going AWOL on what he thinks is GeoCities.
Produced by San Fran Trans Clan Black Glitter Collective and directed by the talentfilled fun-dumpster VAINHEIN, “Google Google Apps Apps” speaks all about all those Caucasian princess-types that are “gentrifying their love” anywhere that’s not gleaming white anywhere everywhere all the time on insta-vine.
I get it, I want to be BLASIAN for Christmess but there’s no app for that, the best I can do is breed in a multicultural snuggle puddle and marriage the afterbirth, then re-breed with that and have myself surgically sewn to that one, then maybe I can be Blasian like in a thousand christmases time…maybe.
“Wanna see, durrrrr ?”
[thanks Produzentin [who btw is “that girl you like”!]

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!! OMG, “common inside”: The Face of Furry Creek, Episode 4 !!


For this week’s challenge the contestants were asked to come up with a public service announcement to see how they best represent the values of their ass-crack-of-nowhere mountain hub hole town.
What with her story of early childhood abandonment Deb [above] donned her pastel paintbox train-driver cap to do what “only deb knows for suresies” and introduce her home-spun home-based “center for the healings of umbilical chords that need unbrokening.”
Oh, erm, gee Deb, do you have enough scrunchie bobbles in the second scene of your PSA challenge?
If Deb won ‘The Face of Flurry Cock’ I would totally visit for a month long retreat at her “center for the healings of umbilical chords that need unbrokening”…total totes, thanks Deb !
You can watch Liz’s “Intervention for Greg’s Perversion Addiction” video, friend-of-Jesus Petunia Proudfoot’s Shania-esque “For Our Unborn Children” duet, and all the rest of the contestant’s PSA challenge videos HERE, and if you missed this week’s episode you can catch the roundup HERE.
I wish Liz was a contestant, I’d vote for her as she has a face like a furry creek, oh, and her garbage bag couture a couple of weeks back…I need that in my wardrobe !

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!! OMG, TOTAL ELITISM ! : Prancing Elites !!


If like me you hate those pretty white popular bitches from the cheerleading squad and hate team B cheer leaders even worse because they think they are top notch even though you could dance-shite all over their crispy perms but they wouldn’t let you in because you’re a Mr-male and sort of like to make up your own moves anyway so whatever.
…well then you better hope the Prancing Elites’ all black all male cheerleading squad have a team B for BOW-LEGGED FRECKLY WHITE GIRLS because if that exists then I’m the head lady in that pompom squadron and we have like thousands of croquette championships to crump at, so sign up.
Before you do though, please do watch and learn from Prancing Elites’ tutorial video as a number of their routine moves will be stolen and re-imagined for the croquette crowd.
Team B team name…?…’THE CRINKLE CRUNCH CRUNK CRUMPIN’ CREW !’
Our motto…?…“Eat it up !”
[via funkydineva, Thanks Bear!]

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!! OMG, KOR BLIMEY!: Michael Kors’ best Pro Ro quotes !!


Neon-beige faced fashion drag-queen overlord ORIGAMI ROSE [more commonly known as Michael Kors] has -over the year- pulled some really descriptive diuretic diamonds out his leathery hag fag bottom for ‘Project Runway’.
I’m getting fashion hunger pains just hearing him spout about “avocado goiters, rigatoni Mad Max’s and ugly Aztec cakes”…sounds like the perfect 3-Kors meal…washed down with an ORIGAMI ROSÉ SPRITZER…of Kors!
[via papermag]

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